Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize