i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
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If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
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If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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