GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
