I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize