Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
