Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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