he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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