Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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