"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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