I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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