How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
