textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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