I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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