We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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