we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
