Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize