I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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