I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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