I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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