I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.