No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.