can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...