Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.