tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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