once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
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Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize