just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.