i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize