Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
