Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

i just wanna soil my oats bro

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(949): i just wanna soil my oats bro http://tfl.nu/wcck

Replies (8) Good night (948) Bad night (657)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.

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(512): Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on. http://tfl.nu/m8nk

Replies (11) Good night (1181) Bad night (3561)
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(831): View more from California

period poops. best. ever.

(925): View more from California

omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...

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(831): period poops. best. ever. (925): omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that... http://tfl.nu/lwj4

Replies (144) Good night (1956) Bad night (19538)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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(832): Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail. http://tfl.nu/wcht

Replies (4) Good night (1921) Bad night (633)
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(530): View more from California

Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.

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(530): Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade. http://tfl.nu/blkw

Replies (7) Good night (1708) Bad night (765)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.

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(608): Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day. http://tfl.nu/sglt

Replies (2) Good night (1673) Bad night (743)
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(714): View more from California

Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made

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(714): Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made http://tfl.nu/j4f1

Replies (7) Good night (1767) Bad night (519)
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(519): View more from Ontario

We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.

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(519): We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way. http://tfl.nu/bqx1

Replies (4) Good night (1672) Bad night (480)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus

(908): View more from New Jersey

Yeah but the people love.

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(781): Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus (908): Yeah but the people love. http://tfl.nu/k9ua

Replies (2) Good night (1032) Bad night (379)
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(618): View more from Illinois

Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with

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(618): Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with http://tfl.nu/wwss

Replies (4) Good night (1250) Bad night (378)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.

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(423): hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT. http://tfl.nu/qhme

Replies (5) Good night (1774) Bad night (428)
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(574): View more from Indiana

IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.

(971): View more from Oregon

YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.

(574): View more from Indiana

NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.

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(574): IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH. (971): YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH. (574): NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE. http://tfl.nu/j0cd

Replies (4) Good night (985) Bad night (409)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?

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(317): Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed? http://tfl.nu/ggrn

Replies (13) Good night (347) Bad night (828)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.

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(802): I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower. http://tfl.nu/ep1t

Replies (1) Good night (345) Bad night (362)
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(925): View more from California

You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it

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(925): You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it http://tfl.nu/tbd8

Replies (0) Good night (752) Bad night (213)

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