Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee

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(206): View more from Washington

at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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(775): View more from Nevada

He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.

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