Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.

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(515): He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar. http://tfl.nu/v158

Replies (54) Good night (2913) Bad night (1181)
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(914): View more from New York

Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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(914): Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride. http://tfl.nu/fcgf

Replies (22) Good night (2861) Bad night (607)
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(713): View more from Texas

My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.

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(713): My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs. http://tfl.nu/vmqk

Replies (34) Good night (3354) Bad night (859)
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(586): View more from Michigan

we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.

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(586): we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path. http://tfl.nu/fhzw

Replies (17) Good night (1151) Bad night (5276)
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(718): View more from New York

Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.

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(718): Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/eick

Replies (13) Good night (6646) Bad night (1710)
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(514): View more from Quebec

Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank

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(514): Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank http://tfl.nu/3d4y

Replies (10) Good night (1043) Bad night (4036)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.

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(702): I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it. http://tfl.nu/kp90

Replies (8) Good night (1215) Bad night (4266)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.

(248): View more from Michigan

There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.

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(248): Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby. (248): There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction. http://tfl.nu/82qp

Replies (5) Good night (2658) Bad night (1003)
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(224): View more from Illinois

It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.

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(224): It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo. http://tfl.nu/9q3e

Replies (6) Good night (1882) Bad night (888)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'

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(615): I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA' http://tfl.nu/bh1s

Replies (3) Good night (1930) Bad night (727)
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(440): View more from Ohio

You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered

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(440): You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered http://tfl.nu/unl1

Replies (6) Good night (2786) Bad night (825)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We left the knife in your bed.

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(780): We left the knife in your bed. http://tfl.nu/mwcc

Replies (9) Good night (617) Bad night (1218)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.

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(814): It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it. http://tfl.nu/w90m

Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (464)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?

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(706): I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get? http://tfl.nu/m9m9

Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (375)
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(518): View more from New York

I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.

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(518): I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two. http://tfl.nu/sg45

Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (136)

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