That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
