When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"