I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats