Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.