i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
