So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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