phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize