3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!