yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
