btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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I will pee on everything he values.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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