Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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