i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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