Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
