I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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