jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize