Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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