We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
