yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
nutella sex= disaster
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap