Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.