don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.