I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
4 words: hood of his car
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES