I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.