Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize