I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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