I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
So here I am, sexting at work.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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