and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
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I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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