i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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