so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
NoShamevember. You game?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize