Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT