It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join