i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10