just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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