I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize