so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
