My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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